I am so ready for a new year.
Just sayin'.
December 29, 2010
December 8, 2010
Set
As I sit at the end of my dorm hallway to stress and worry about all that I have yet to do before break begins next weekend, I have found myself thinking, 'I wish more was expected of me.'
[Reading and notes and assignments and papers and quizzes and tests and service hours and churchgoing and community group and work aside, that is. Ah, such is life as a Bible college student.]
I am a brat who has been allowed to get away with an awful lot.
An awful lot of crap, I mean.
People do not understand what accountability and intentionality mean.
Truly.
Or, if they do, they do not seem to apply either of these things to their lives. And their apathy towards either can even have an affect on the lives of others. What great things can come from holding others accountable for their words and actions - or lack thereof. The desire for intentional relationships that include [intentional!] loving confrontation can do a world of good for all parties involved, if the Holy Spirit is "allowed" to lead.
But often we do not realize the great importance of these things and they are simply not a part of us/our lives. We don't know what we're missing out on. So when we are presented with opportunities to let them into our lives because of people who do understand what they mean and their importance, it can be... stretching. We certainly do learn from experience. And, at times, how can we expect to help others unless we go through that which they struggle with? I think that honestly, we cannot hold others accountable or truly be intentional towards/with others until we are held accountable, and until others regard us with intentionality.
... That's expecting a lot from people.
But really, we should be.
Expecting a lot, I mean.
And I think... I know... that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I think people simply don't know how to communicate it.
Or they're too scared to try.
Or they've tried before but nothing happens or changes.
Or... fill in the blank.
So perhaps I don't mean that I wish more was expected of me.
Because as I said, I believe - I know - that it is.
Rather, I wish people would let it be known that which they expect.
[A higher standard, truly.]
[Reading and notes and assignments and papers and quizzes and tests and service hours and churchgoing and community group and work aside, that is. Ah, such is life as a Bible college student.]
I am a brat who has been allowed to get away with an awful lot.
An awful lot of crap, I mean.
People do not understand what accountability and intentionality mean.
Truly.
Or, if they do, they do not seem to apply either of these things to their lives. And their apathy towards either can even have an affect on the lives of others. What great things can come from holding others accountable for their words and actions - or lack thereof. The desire for intentional relationships that include [intentional!] loving confrontation can do a world of good for all parties involved, if the Holy Spirit is "allowed" to lead.
But often we do not realize the great importance of these things and they are simply not a part of us/our lives. We don't know what we're missing out on. So when we are presented with opportunities to let them into our lives because of people who do understand what they mean and their importance, it can be... stretching. We certainly do learn from experience. And, at times, how can we expect to help others unless we go through that which they struggle with? I think that honestly, we cannot hold others accountable or truly be intentional towards/with others until we are held accountable, and until others regard us with intentionality.
... That's expecting a lot from people.
But really, we should be.
Expecting a lot, I mean.
And I think... I know... that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I think people simply don't know how to communicate it.
Or they're too scared to try.
Or they've tried before but nothing happens or changes.
Or... fill in the blank.
So perhaps I don't mean that I wish more was expected of me.
Because as I said, I believe - I know - that it is.
Rather, I wish people would let it be known that which they expect.
[A higher standard, truly.]
December 7, 2010
Half empty..
How can one be encouraged by something said to them that they do not believe to be true - or really, know is not true?
Should they simply remind themselves, "It's the thought that counts!"?
Or should they call the "encourager" out on their falsity?
Even if one was to go with the former option, it is easy to dwell on the fact that the attempted encouragement was basically made up just because... it's the good, Christian thing to do.
If that's honestly the "truth" behind the encouragement - which, in this case, it obviously was - I'd rather not be told anything.
Should they simply remind themselves, "It's the thought that counts!"?
Or should they call the "encourager" out on their falsity?
Even if one was to go with the former option, it is easy to dwell on the fact that the attempted encouragement was basically made up just because... it's the good, Christian thing to do.
If that's honestly the "truth" behind the encouragement - which, in this case, it obviously was - I'd rather not be told anything.
December 5, 2010
Drag
I'm at home.
Got here around noon:thirty on Friday.
Going back as late as I can on Monday. Which, unfortunately, won't be that late... I have work in the late afternoon, meaning I have to leave home around noon.
But really, I'd like to go back around 8 in the evening.
I have no desire to be at school.
No desire at all.
Two.
Two papers due this week.
Two tests to take this week.
Two weeks left.
One week of classes.
One week of finals.
[Six this semester, by the way...]
Gah.
Got here around noon:thirty on Friday.
Going back as late as I can on Monday. Which, unfortunately, won't be that late... I have work in the late afternoon, meaning I have to leave home around noon.
But really, I'd like to go back around 8 in the evening.
I have no desire to be at school.
No desire at all.
Two.
Two papers due this week.
Two tests to take this week.
Two weeks left.
One week of classes.
One week of finals.
[Six this semester, by the way...]
Gah.
December 1, 2010
... FAIL.
I am irritated.
Frustrated.
Annoyed.
Disappointed.
There is no discipleship WHATSOEVER at CCCB.
Awesome.
Frustrated.
Annoyed.
Disappointed.
There is no discipleship WHATSOEVER at CCCB.
Awesome.
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