Strive for growth.

Don't we realize not everybody knows
the good news that is Jesus Christ?
I suppose I need to find
a different way to shed the Light.
...
For there are people here who are mislead and confused,
uncared for, abandoned, broken, abused.
And I know they could really use some good news.
...
You see, there's a hope and a joy,
a true love that saves.
A love that is with us all of our days.
...
So I must strive to let them see
the Power that's in me.
Through my faith and my deeds
I shall plant seeds
which will grow into something precious.
Something more precious than all our needs.

Streaming

We are loved and forgiven, so that we can love.
But I find myself thinking, 'I need more from above;
what I have is not enough.
O' God, my God, I've got it rough.'
Not true!
I'm His joy, His delight, and so are you.
But I can't tell you what to do
with that love from above.
It's a question of purpose; I ask it, too.

Seek out His will and you will be used.
His name is to be known, not said in vain, misused.
So obey Him always, follow His command.
Love as you are loved, and take a stand.

Or do you have anything to take a stand for?
Do you believe, or do you ask for more?
"More signs, more wonders - and healings, too, please.
I'll do anything to see them - even beg upon my knees!"
But why do you need these?
What good will they do?
Can't you accept that God died for you?
Read His word, understand, and come to see:
that His love is enough, for you and for me.

Anthem

My hope is in the One who has set me free,
     and with His love won me to His side.
And it is there I abide with peace and joy,
     it is there I am content and satisfied.
For who else can say they died for me?
     And who else can say they love perfectly?
Only the one, true King.
     The spotless Lamb, the Son of Man,
     Who by His blood gave me everything.
He took my sin upon the cross;
     and now I count the world as loss
     since I gained what matters by living in Him.
So He is worthy of praise,
     all of my days - both in this life and the next.
And I will gladly take on any test of temptation and sin,
      pressing on to win the prize.
I pray one day I'll see His eyes and hear,
     "My beloved... you've done well, My dear."
Gone will be all tears and all fear,
     replaced with the joy of His glory.
We will give praise to the Star of the redemption story,
     not knowing what else to do.
     ... Or perhaps unable to do anything but say,
     "All honor and power and glory to You!"

Reason to Rejoice

"Death, where is your sting?
Grave, where is your victory?"
[Cory Asbury and Laura Hackett's He's Alive]

These things have been defeated by the power of God and His Son's resurrection. Hallelujah! We have reason to rejoice with greatest praise for our Lord God. He reigns with love and justice and compassion. Although He is a jealous God, He is merciful and gracious. Can we truly begin to fathom His greatness? Will we ever be able to fully give Him the praise and thanksgiving that He deserves? I mean, how can it be... that the King of the universe desires to have an intimate and fulfilling relationship with me? Oh, how blessed I am. I am no one special. And yet I am a daughter of God. Beloved. Treasured. Bought with a price: the blood of the Lamb. HE IS ALIVE!

... And now, so am I.

Answer

I have been thinking about... the world ... lately.

And specific nations, naturally.

Syria.
Romania.
Mexico.
... "I never want to go to Mexico - ever!"
Thus, I never saw that coming - and a handful of people can attest to this!
Japan.
Thailand.

And very specifically, India.

I have been made aware of an interesting opportunity in India after I graduate next year. So I was thinking and praying about it last night, mulling this opportunity over.

'India... India... hm. India.'

Suddenly, words just came streaming across the forefront of my mind. And so I picked up a pen and started scribbling furiously, trying to keep up with, well, myself. As the words slowed down, I put my pen down and took a deep breath. Then I slowly read over what I had written:

India, India, hear the Father’s call...
to leave behind your idols, and sit in His banquet hall.

India, India, do you know how you are loved?
Think of the gracious Father, looking down from high above.

India, India, dispel the dark and your fear.
The kingdom of the Living God is drawing ever near.

India, India, rise up from the systems and chains.
Turn to Hope, turn to Joy, be healed of all your pains.

India, India, step into the Light.
Because of His great love you will be rescued from all plight.

India, India, you can have eternal life.
Confess, repent, be baptized – put on love, not strife.

India, India, your time has truly come.
Can you hear the rhythm of the Lion of Judah’s drum?

He yearns for you, He knows you by name.
He desires for all the world to proclaim:
that He is God, the Lord of all.
India, India, do you hear His call?

A friend pointed out that truly, you could substitute any nation - or person - in place of the word 'India'. But I love knowing that God gave me these words as I was praying about India and her people. It is my earnest prayer that one day, these people - loved by my Lord God - will, indeed, answer His call and know Him as I do.

Look. See?

I think we need to be careful that our desire for uniformity doesn't come across as a desire to control.

I feel it causes people to wonder, 'What in their lives do they feel they cannot control so as to have the urge [need] to control the actions of others?'

I also believe that sometimes we don't realize the effect[s] our personalities have on people. I mean, we intimidate. We scare. We motivate. We inspire. We bring down. We lift up. It's very interesting to think about just how very different God has made each of His children. His doing so is good. His doing so is beautiful. Because He is good, and He is beautiful.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of these things when I find myself questioning people... especially the "why" questions regarding their actions and motives. It doesn't matter. Everyone is a child of God, and beloved by Him. And who am I to judge? What I think, what I believe, what I am oh-so-convinced about, does not matter.

I am tired of glancing.
I am tired of skimming.
I am tired of merely looking.

I want to truly see what God sees.

Open my eyes, Lord God.

Lifeguard

I am a lifeguard at the YMCA located in Moberly, Missouri.

I really have a love-hate relationship with my job, though.
We call the pool "ghetto".
I have a kind, but scatter-brained supervisor.
And my co-workers tend to be lazy and messy.

But overall, I enjoy working at the Y.
I simply love lifeguarding.
I really do.

......

This morning a grandfather came in with his three granddaughters.
They're Saturday morning regulars.
So I knew what to expect with them.

The grandfather. Kind. Caring. Jolly, you could say.
Strapping flotation devices on.
Keeping an eye on the older two girls.
Holding the youngest, between 12 and 18 months old.
He catches her as she jumps in.
Supports her as she leans back in his arms, dipping her head into the water.
He never lets the older girls out of his sight, nor the youngest out of reach.
At one point, he let the youngest walk along the gutter at the pool edge... one hand behind her back, one hand in front of her... thus allowing her to 'freely' walk, but ready to provide guidance or stability if needed.

I couldn't help but think about God and His children as I watched the four of them. I feel that God is our Precautionary Ensurer, guaranteeing our well-being and always looking out for us. I must say that I feel pretty great living my life, knowing that the Lord God is my Lifeguard.

......

Safety.
Protection.

I love the responsibility of lifeguarding. And I like seeing others enjoy the water, whether for fun or fitness. I have always been a fish, for the most part. My family likes to remind me that when we lived in Alabama and swam in my gramma and papa's pool, I was always "the first one in, last one out." That is, once I had realized that I could touch the bottom of the pool. Before that, I would more often than not cling to the edge.

The smell of chlorine is so comforting to me. And I appreciate the way light coming in from the windows reflects off the water. Gentle ripples stem from bodies in the pool, creating an ever-changing pattern on the surface. Simple movement. Resounding giggles. The repetition of a lap swimmer, going back and forth... back and forth.

Familiar, yet always different.

I love it.

Lifeguarding truly is a significant facet of my life. True, it can be boring at times. And I don't have the most 'on top of things' supervisor or tidy and careful co-workers... But I do attempt to make the best of things.

I am blessed.

Time, time, is ticking by...

[My title comes from a Misty Edwards song, titled As In the Days of Noah.]

Time truly does fly by.
I will be twenty-two in one month and four days.
I have lived for 262.9 months.
That's 1,143 weeks.
8,001 days.

Hm.
That's a lot of days.
... Though at the same time, it's not.

Anyway.

What have I done in that time?

School.
Worked.
Vacations.
Sporting events and competitions.
Plays and musicals and band events.
Hung out.
Made friends.
Lost friends.
Moved to three states.
Driven thousands of miles.
Washed and dried dozens of laundry loads.
Hours of sleep have been needed and then appreciated.
I have given thousands of hugs.
Numerous speeches have been prepared and presented.
I have run and swum hundreds of miles.
Songs have been sung and resung, over and over and over and over.

... Etc.

But have any of these things bettered the kingdom of God?

No.

Sad, but true.

So what if I'm not an extroverted, outspoken evangelist?
Or not a servant-oriented type of person?
Or not an anointed worship leader?

I mean, I know better.

I know where my strengths lie, and what my skills and gifts are.

And I should know by now how I can use them to serve my Lord God and benefit His heavenly kingdom... but I don't truly have a full understanding of where He desires me, or what He wants me to be doing.

I can't help but think that there's something not... right. Something that is hindering me from gaining that understanding, that knowledge.

So what's wrong?
What's missing?

How can I make a difference?

Where do I truly belong?

Just... be.

I haven't been able to be at Queen City as a sponsor the past three Sundays. My friend Jordan, the youth pastor, has told me that the kids have missed me.

Two days ago my friend and RA, Jenn, asked me to take her to a clinic and then later the hospital due to a terrible reaction to poison ivy.

I don't often feel needed or wanted.
So these... situations... have been encouraging.

I didn't like the circumstances surrounding each situation, of course.
But I'm glad that things played out the way they did.

Yet after some thinking... I can't decide if I am pleased, or saddened, by these things. This is basically the first time I've truly - wholeheartedly, honestly - felt needed/wanted since I've been at CCCB. For something other than selfish gain or motivation, that is... Or where I was asked to do something by another, not out of haste, or because someone else backed down and I was in the right place at the right time.

And I mean, I haven't even really done anything for the youth group, and didn't really "do" anything for Jenn. I've just sort of... been there... for said people. Which, I suppose, is good. It is. And sometimes... that's all that is truly needed... being with someone. Simply sitting with another can be... powerful. Moving. Meaningful. It says a lot, I think, in letting the other person know that you "are there for them". That you desire to be of help, of service, if necessary. That you are available to answer questions, discuss something, pray, laugh, praise God with them... and that is good.

So why am I dissatisfied?
Why can't I be content with this feeling?
Why isn't it enough?
Or not good enough?
Do I not fully believe that God can use me in this way?
Do I not really appreciate what God has given me in regards to patience and the ability to listen? Are these things not gifts?
They are good.
And good can come from my "using" them.

I need to trust.
Trust more.
Trust that God can and will use me to serve His people.
His Kingdom.
Trust that I actually do matter more than I think I do.
Trust that my presence - my simply "being there" - means something to others, even when I do not realize it.

... I am His beloved, and He will not let me down.

His plans.
His timing.
His prompting.

To His name, be the glory.